Divorce is a difficult decision. Abuse in its different manifestations is the most destructive tool that can be used by anyone against another person. It is designed to distort a person’s view of reality, securing power over that person. When there is abuse going on in a relationship, it may be time to bug out. From all I have researched, all I have seen and personally experienced, and what my friends have told me, it won't stop until you end it.

It is so often difficult to accept that she is trying to destroy you, especially once you realize that she may actually not know that's what she's doing because her actions are so clouded by her perceptions and her grip on reality as it is, controlled by her rage and fixations over hurts she has experienced in her life, then projected on to you. She may truly believe that she is trying to guide you onto the right path, to be a real man, to confess to your crimes, to belly up to the table and admit that you are a bad person and the only one that can fix you is her.

It's a very difficult transition away from the abuse. I loved my wife very much, and miss her and home a hundred times a day. I start thinking about her smile, the way she sometimes looked at me, and how beautiful she is to me, and my heart clenches up in a vice. But then I remember the rage, the constant anger, mean words, the hate that would twist up her pretty face, the cool way she would tell me about what was wrong with me, and the hundreds of cruel abusive words and actions all balled up in a tangled mass, and those feelings of love go away. I think it may take me a long time to heal from her and the world she lives in, and I will measure my recovery by finding that one day in the future where I don't wake up thinking about her, where I don't have a thought about her all day, and where I go to bed and fall asleep not thinking about her.

Dealing with rapidly evolving emotions, life-changes, and divorce at the same time can totally overwhelm you. As you go through the emotional journey of divorce, the following articles can help you deal with the various emotions that you may be feeling as you face the end of your marriage. All of the following links deal with women and divorce from abusive men; just substitute she for he, or her for him. Abuse of men by women seems largely ignored by our society, but the manifestations are similar, especially for more sensitive men ...

• Should I Divorce? - Look before you leap.
• Deciding On Divorce - Making the hard decision.
• I Don't Want A Divorce - What to do when it's dumped on your lap.
• When To Get a Divorce - Examining the core issues.
• Should You Reconcile - Dealing with the doubt.
• Divorce Reconciliation - Answers from the life coach.
• How To Survive A Divorce - Developing the right mindset.
• The Emotional Stages of Divorce - What to expect.
• Divorce And Guilt - Is it normal to feel regret?
• Regrets - What to do about your doubts.
• How To Cope With Divorce - Dealing with change.
• How To Deal With Divorce - and all the emotions that go with it.
• How to Deal with The Pain of Divorce - Coping strategies.
• Does "For Better or Worse" Mean Married For Life
• Dealing With Friends and Family - Advice from the life coach.
• Depression from divorce - Coping strategies to get you through.
• Practicing Forgiveness - Set yourself free to move on.
• Stress Management - Handling the stress that comes with divorce.
• Anger Management - Find ways to overcome the anger and resentment.
• How Can I Handle My Anger - advice from the life coach.
• Building Self Esteem - Learning to love yourself again.
• Healing After Divorce - Consciously dealing with your emotions.

Here are some very good books. The one I used to put together my divorce was "The Complete Idiot's Guide to - Surviving Divorce". The other three books were recommended to me by friends of mine who were going through similar experiences, and seemed to suit their need up to this point in their divorces. You gotta remember that every circumstance is different, and in my case it may end up pretty simple, because I have no children or property with my ex, and our marriage was relatively short. You may have a home, a mortgage, children, a high debt load, whatever. All can complicate this, but you must remember to consider what is best for you, and especially for your children.